Instant slimming technique! Do Away With Duck Feet!

Ugh, “duck footed” standing and walking…a phenomenon that just won’t go away…

(I’m about to sound a little harsh here, so bear with me.  And just know, kiddies, I’m saying this for your own good…)

I noticed it again just yesterday…she was a tall, somewhat retro-dressed woman who, yes, was carrying about 30 extra pounds, but was dressed quite well.  She was walking in a way that could not have been easily replicated, so clearly she had been maneuvering herself around like that for quite some time – years, I’m thinking.  Each foot pointed out in their respective directions to such a degree that she was literally taking up twice the space in those narrow book store aisles than she needed to be.  Poor thing.

I saw it on a woman of much smaller stature, recently, as well.  She was petite and not heavy at all.  But her pelvis jutted forward, her feet pointed outward and her shoulders rolled forward in almost a caveman-like fashion!  She was wearing a very flattering swimsuit (we were at the pool) and had very nice hair, nice features and pretty hoop earrings.  Yet, she instantly added the look of being out of shape and overweight to herself just by the way she walked.

If EITHER of these ladies had simply adjusted their posture and gait, it would have gone a LOOONG way to reshaping their physiques.  For the woman who was overweight, it would have immediately slimmed her.  For the petite woman, it would have added an air elegance, quite possibly helping her to appear taller than she actually is.   This simple adjustment wouldn’t just help them in the looks department, it would also help their clearly stressed hip joints and their overall spinal health.  I’m no chiropractor, but I’ll bet that it would alleviate a whole other host of issues, too.

Sometimes I feel like such a relic, but I recall times when women (men too) were actually taught how to walk. I don’t think anyone teaches these techniques anymore.  I might catch a good deal of hell for saying this, but if one would like to learn how to walk, YouTube some fashion shows.  That’s right, Victoria’s Secret, New York Fashion Week – check ’em out.  See how the models are walking.  No, no, I’m not advocating everyone starve themselves, I’m simply talking about HOW TO WALK, at this point.  You won’t see any of those men and women walking duck footed.  (Although you may see a large occurrence of “duck face,” however.  Ugh – another horrifying phenomenon that just won’t DIE!!!)

Another pet peeve of mine while we’re at it…DON’T STOMP when you walk!  The neighbors shouldn’t have to become aware of your presence every time you enter a room.  :-/  Besides, it’s bad for the joints!  Call me old fashioned, but I think a lady should “glide” into the room.  Saunter.  Float.  But don’t stomp, bounce, or roll into the room, for Dog’s sake!  What the hell is wrong with you people?!

…sorry, I get carried away sometimes…

Anyhow, there you have it.  Go get yourself a book and a full length mirror.  Place the book on your head.  Then walk, standing straight, one foot in front of the other, keeping that book balanced on your head, the whole time.  Repeat until you can make it across the room without the book falling off your melon, and then you will have a decent start.  You’ll find that you cannot successfully do this with duck feet, pigeon toes (why are all the bad postures named after birds?) and any other stance-related malady.

You’ll look slimmer, exude confidence, and your feet, hips, spine and shoulders will thank you for it.

And that is all for now.  NO MORE DUCK FEET!

 

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